2003-04-27 + 3:37 p.m.

I just fought and yelled at the computer to allow me to buy Faint tickets from ticketmaster.

I'm so stressed already.

I didn't sleep well last night because I was obsessing over a wedding probelm. Do I ask my fiance sister to be one of my bridemaids to avoid hurt feeling eventhough I really don't know her well, have never hung out with her and can't name one thing she is into to. I don't like being against this wall forced to choose.

I always thought the bride chose her bridemaids without pressure from other family members.

I don't know what to do. I know what I want to do but I don't want to be the bad relative.

I have this bad need to have everyone like me. It kills me to know that people may be talking about me behind my back...people that don't know me very well. I don't want to start crying about this again.

I just want my day...OUR day probelm free. I want singing birds and bright sunshine. I want to proclaim my love to my soulmate in front of the people I care about. I don't want this fucking bickering tarnishing OUR day.

Every major event hurts. I don't want this to hold true this day.

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