2003-04-05 + 9:34 p.m.

It sucks when all you want is an adult life, do grand adult things and it always turns into fucking middle school.

I am disgusted, mad, appalled, and lastly hurt. Very hurt to the bottom of my being. I haven't felt this way, this unwanted in a long time.

Am I so terrible...did I do something so horrid that people don't want to be around me? Could this be a result of my overworking paranoia or is it the truth.

When your mind allows petty people to reside ruler of your world, wars happen.

I wasn't invited to a party that is happening 16 feet below where I am sitting. I can hear them..the music the chatter the laughter. I wasn't invited over a box of cleaning supplies and some dishes that were placed in a moving out roomate's room. They don't want me there.

This was told to me by someone who cares about me. Who did want me there.

I am sick in my heart and I don't want to write anymore.

*cries*

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