2003-03-09 + 9:00 p.m.

Have you ever been deeply hurt by someone you cared a good deal about?

My roomate moved out two weeks ago. She offered to pay this months rent due to the short notice. It would take her alittle while to move.

She moved downstairs.

I started cleaning out some closets and the dish cabinet and as I was going through them I boxed up some of her things and placed them in her room.

I needed to set up my housekeeping. I didn't break anything nor did I mistreat it.

I am not rushing her move I simply wanted to restore order in my home.

She freaked today.

Called me all sort of things...made me cry..made me shake.

She said something to mean that the chaos shouldn't have bothered me because i kept the house slobby and I enjoy living that way.

She mimiced my sentences, my hand motions. I never expected someone that I cared for act so, so ugly.

I am an emotional wreck. I cried all day..shook..and had panic attacks.

She ripped up the note that I had left for her explaining why I had to move some of her things. She ripped it fucking up.

Like my feelings don't matter..that I don't matter.

I can't think anymore.

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