2001-10-29 +
7:37 a.m.
I don't like Boston.
At nine in the morning last Saturday I woke up got myself all kinds of cute and waited for my friend to pick me up. We drove to Boston without any trouble but alas as soon as we were within the city limits we were lost. We drove and drove throughout Boston ending up in the Ghetto part where New Kids on the Block are from.
Finally we found the Big Ass Citgo sign as she kept calling it. The Big Ass Citgo sign lights the way to get to Lansdown Street I guess. Also we were in dire need of a bathroom.
Have you ever had to pee so bad that you felt as though your urine was clouding your mind? Well it was like that for us. We were driving and driving and finally we see this supermarket. I yelled to her to pull in and we would pee in the supermarket. So we drive into the parkinglot where of course there was no parking.
My friend reaches into her glove box and pulls out her dad's handicapped sign for the car and tells me "I'm all fucked up on piss right now".
So we stumble out of the car and walk hunched over to not pee on ourselves.
Go to find out it's this yuppy supermarket with all stuffy weirdo food. The kind of place that would fire someone for putting Kool-Aid on the shelves. Anyways the bathrooms were behind produce and there was only one. My friend pushes me and uses it first. While I was waiting I was looking at these books they had lying around. Books about taking care of produce and the like.
She gets up and nearly passes out. She's hanging on the pole and I rush in, drop trou and go and go. When I'm done I get this head rush but now I'm charged.
We find Lansdown again after another hour of getting lost. Alls I want by now is a fucking cocktail so we go this bar next to the Karma Club and procede drinking. Then we drank...alot. In walks memebers of the Thrill Kill Kult and we were like Holy Shit! So we chattted and I got more drunk.
Time for the show! So we walk over the club and notice the huge line. There were mad crazy girls with dyed pink hair and big jeans. The average age of them was 15 at the most. They get all exicited looking at my tattoos which are of swallows and stars. They start saying oh she's going to show. Look at her tattoos!!
Now Thrill Kill Kult is a dirty sex band and I can't understand what little girls want to see them for. Oh no. Good Charlotte was playing the next club over. So when I found this out I proceded to yell at the young ones that I was going to see a REAL band with TALENT. Oh they got mad at me.
So Thrill Kill was awesome and the did Glamour is a Rocky Road and we danced like sluts after telling off the Gother then thou girls. They were all pissy that we were i nthe front and they weren't. We heard them chatting about us mainly because Missy was in pair of brown pants and a brown tank. I had on a pair of dark denims and an purple leopard sweater. So Missy goes into her wallet to produce her embalmers license and yell OK WHO WANTS TO SEE MY EMBLAMER'S LICENSE? Missy wears black everyday to work and wasn't about to on her day off. My excuse is that I have to dress cool everyday at work and I didn't want to wear any Hot Topic on my day off.
We leave and got lost for two hours trying to leave Boston. My friend is getting tired and is driving like mad. It was my idea to get a room for the night so we pull off at the exit and find a Days Inn. Days Inn was packed. So we drive further down the road and find a Super 8 which ended costing me a whopping $76! The guy behind the counter had these long nails and this mullet and he was giving me a hard time.
Finally we get to our room and sleep. In the morning when I gave my key back to the lady she told me that me and my "lady friend" should have ourselves a good day. Um ok.
I tell my friend this and she goes, "Well Christine. They thought that I took you to the Super 8 to sex you up all night long." Much laughing took place.
Why Boston Sucks...
1. The T isn't underground where things like that belong.
2. The streets make no Goddamn sense.
3. The streets have the same names. How Trenton Street intersects with Trenton Street makes any sense I'll never know.
4. Everything is a fucking circle which makes it impossible to leave.
I do not like Boston. You guys can keep it.
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